Feeling Bad Today.

So my day hasn't been to bad but I am so tired. I feel like crap. I want to sleep but when I try to go to sleep I can't fall asleep because all I can think about is what my throat feels like, what my neck feels like, or if I'm going to die that night. I am so scared of these feelings. I know it sounds sad but I wish my mom wasn't 4 and a half ours away. I guess it's a comfort thing. I miss going to work and laughing with my friends. I am now looking for a online job in costumer service so I can make some sort of money. I am afraid I am going to lose my house if I can't find something to make some money. I don't want to go back on disability. I can't afford to start my own business. I would love to refurbish old wood items. I like to work with wood. I do have 2 old dressers that I am going to try to sand down and redo. I just don't think I'm going to make much off of them. I only spent $40 on them so I guess if I can make like $100 off them that would be okay. I wish that I had taken better care of myself so my panic attack did happen. My anxiety might not of been triggered. I would really like to feel at least 50% back to normal. The chest tightness I can deal with but my throat and neck is what gets to me most. If I could just get rid of the throat and neck crap I think I could be some what back to normal. I loved my life I had before all this. I hope I can get some of that back. It's so hard to stay positive but I know I have to. Please if you have any uplifting comments post them. My family is supporting me 100% and I love them for that. I really don't know what else to try to help myself feel better. I have gotten up and out of the house. I have tried to do stuff round the house but that only helped until I was done. I have been writing a lot. I have talked to people on Facebook that are also dealing with anxiety. I guess I just need to keep it up until I feel somewhat better. Anyways I guess I had better get to doing something and see if it helps me out. Thanks everyone for reading.